


The Relocation Situation

by annagarny



Category: The Big Bang Theory
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-06-11
Updated: 2016-09-03
Packaged: 2017-11-07 12:03:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/430970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/annagarny/pseuds/annagarny
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Notices to Vacate issued to the residents of 2311 LosRobles cause some serious upheval.</p>
<p>However, Sheldon is prepared.</p>
<p>Sheldon is always prepared.</p>
<p>Just, well. No-one expected him to be prepared in quite the fashion he is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Penny. Penny. Penny?"  
Penny slowly opened her eyes and took a moment to get her bearings. It was almost a full minute before she recognized where she was, and remembered why she was on her neighbors' couch at midnight on a Tuesday in the first place.  
She'd come home from a double shift at the Cheesecake Factory and found herself opening a notice to vacate on the second floor landing. It had been all that she could do to continue up the stairs to the fourth floor. Even though it was past midnight she barely hesitated before knocking on the door belonging to her geeky neighbors.  
She wasn't disappointed - even though it was well past Sheldon's bedtime, when an exhausted-looking Leonard opened the door she could see his roommate, over the shorter Leonard's shoulder, pacing around the apartment, his hair sticking up in all directions (from where he'd been running his hands through it) and barely acknowledged Penny as she entered the apartment and took her seat in the centre of the couch.  
"So, you guys got an eviction notice, too?" she asked as Leonard navigated around Sheldon and got her a bottle of water out of the fridge.  
"Yeah, he's been doing that ever since he opened it. If I'd known what it was I would have opened it myself and tried to break it to him gently. But, on the bright side, it's the most exercise he's had in weeks." Leonard gauged Penny's reaction a he handed her the bottle and elected to sit in his linen armchair rather than next to her on the leather couch.  
"Don't mock me, Leonard. This is a serious situation." Sheldon commented, not even breaking stride as he spoke.  
"Well, I might have to move back to Nebraska. What are you guys going to do?"  
"Back to Nebraska? Why?" Leonard sounded almost scared at that prospect.  
"Well, the only reason I could even afford the security deposit on this place in the first place was because I'd been living with Kurt for so long and had some savings. Right now, I have nothing. Moving back home might be all that I can afford, and even that might clean me out."  
"Don't be absurd, you're not moving back to Nebraska." Sheldon told her, coming to an abrupt stop in front of her and motioning for Penny to move slightly to the right, leaving his cushion completely clear.  
"That's right, Sheldon, you must have, what do you call them? Contingency plans? For something like this? I mean, you've got a first-aid kit in your pocket and at least three apocalypse-ready backpacks stashed here in the apartment."  
"Yes, I do, but I thought I'd be leaving 2311 Los Robles of my own volition, rather than having the decision made for me by some faceless corporation with barely the courtesy to provide adequate notice. A month! I mean, that's not nearly enough time to find suitable replacement accommodations, especially as I have to take your living arrangements into account, and find somewhere that's also proximal to the university, without being too far from Wolowitz and Koothrappalli, not to mention somewhere close enough that I can walk to Amy's house, I have my relationship agreement to consider."  
Penny slowly tuned Sheldon's droning voice out, leaning back on the couch as Leonard announced his plans to go to bed. Sheldon barely paused in his monologue so Penny ignored him, too, her heavy eyelids sliding closed as she concentrated on how good it felt to be sitting down after so many hours on her feet.  
She didn't know what time it was, but Sheldon was saying her name, very softly.  
"Penny?"  
"Go back to sleep, Sheldon." she muttered, not wanting to move.  
"Penny, my leg has fallen asleep, but the rest of me is wide awake. Do you want to sleep on the couch tonight?"  
Penny sat up straighter, and noticed that she'd fallen almost ninety degrees and had her head on Sheldon's right thigh.  
"Oh, sorry. Yeah, you don't mind me sleeping on the couch?"  
"With the current turmoil in our lives I certainly can't object. Evolution dictates that homo sapiens crave the security of a group during times of upset. I'll get you a pillow, and I'd appreciate it if you could remove your shoes before sleeping on our couch."  
Penny yawned, then surprised even herself with her next sentence.  
"You didn't want me to sign an overnight guest waiver?" she asked, kicking her shoes off.  
"You're still covered by the friendship agreement we drew up last year, I allowed for one unannounced sleepover per month, which I felt was more than enough to allow for fluctuations in your emotional state."  
"Sheldon?"  
"Yes, Penny?"  
"Thank-you."  
"No need to thank me, Penny, I am the glue that holds our social group together, I will shoulder the burden of relocating us to a suitable domicile to ensure that our friendships can endure."  
"Sheldon?"  
"Penny?"  
"Thanks, anyway."


	2. Chapter 2

"French toast day?" Penny asked, sitting up on the couch, yawning.

"Yes, it is. Would you like some?" Sheldon was whisking eggs in a large glass bowl and Penny glanced at her watch.

"Seven AM? Don't you ever sleep in, Sheldon?"

"Not unless I'm sick. Why would I?"

"Well, you were up until one am last night, surely you need to catch up?"

"I'll go to bed an hour early tonight, that should even me out. One piece or two?"

"One, thanks. Will the bathroom be free?"

"Yes, Leonard never gets up before nine on Saturdays."

By the time she was done in the bathroom Sheldon had finished making breakfast and was sitting at the kitchen island.

"Don't you eat in your spot?"

"Not French toast. I might spill syrup on the couch, and having that cushion dry-cleaned once was bad enough."

"Oh, okay."

She joined him, perching on the other stool at the island and accepted the plate and the syrup, and waited until he'd finished his first piece before voicing the question that had been bugging her since he'd let her sleep on his leg without protest the night before.

"You mentioned a 'friendship agreement' last night. Was that what I signed just before Christmas?"

"Yes, it was."

"And you allowed me one overnight stay here per month?"

"Yes. Didn't you read the contract before you signed it?"

"It was like twenty pages, Sheldon. And you made me sign it before you'd let me open my Christmas present."

"Double-spaced."

"Twenty pages is still twenty pages. What else was in there that I should know about?"

Without answering her, Sheldon got to his feet and stepped over to his desk, extracting a pink folder from the filing cabinet underneath it.

"Take a look. It's not actually that long, and has mostly to do with situations like when I'm sick, or if there's an apocalypse."

Penny took the folder as she finished her French toast and decided that there were worse ways to spend her Saturday morning, flicked open the folder and began to read, sipping on her coffee as Sheldon cleared the island and began to do the dishes.

"I'm your backup person to drive you to work? What about my check engine light?"

"Keep reading."

She read the next few lines and her eyebrows rose.

"If Leonard, or his vehicle, is incapacitated for upwards of a week, you will pay for my engine to be checked by a reputable motor mechanic in order to ensure safe passage to and from the University?"

"Yes. I'll even overlook your habit of drinking coffee in the car, seeing as you would be my only reasonable option for transportation."

"What does this mean?" Penny asked, pointing to a particular passage.

Sheldon leaned over her shoulder to look at the document.

"That is the other part of the agreement that may be coming into play now that we are being forced to relocate."

Penny stared at the paragraph, not entirely sure that she was deciphering Sheldon's legalese properly until she voiced her question.

"If a relocation from 2311 Los Robles is unavoidable then the monetary savings accrued, up to the date of eviction, by S.C. & L.H. will be pooled and if the total is sufficient these funds will be used to purchase a single-occupancy or family home with no less the three bedrooms. Taking into account Penny's financial situation she will be offered lodgings in said home at below market rent, providing she is happy to sign a modified Housemate Agreement."

She looked up at Sheldon.

"You mean, if you and Leonard can afford a down payment on a big enough house, you'd want me to live with you?"

"Yes, you would have your own bedroom, of course, and if I can find the right house, preferably your own bathroom and living space with a separate entrance to the house. We'll also need a two-car garage, and a driveway long enough to accommodate Rajesh's car, and Howard's scooter. I did a perfunctory search of realtors in the area, and I've found several houses that meet most of my criteria, that will also be within our budget."

Penny stared at him, totally lost for words.

"You... you want to buy a house with Leonard, and you'd let me live with you guys?"

"Penny, I really don't see what is so perplexing about the situation. Financially it makes sense, and you spend so much of your leisure time here, anyway. Besides, from the photographs and available schematics of these homes, some of them have bedrooms that are bigger than your current apartment."

"Really?"

"Really. Here." He had finished with the dishes by the time she asked the question, and crossed to his laptop, opening a minimized browser window and clicking on a few links.

"Wow, this place looks great!" Penny pointed to the larger picture of one of the houses on the list, then her eyes drifted to the asking price.

"Oh my god, Sheldon, what's your budget?"

"Well, taking into account my long-term employment at the university, and Leonard's, not to mention our combined savings, well… the amount indicated as our 'upper limit' in the price range field is actually about twenty thousand dollars less than what we can actually afford."  
"You mean, you've already got a loan approved? How did you do that so fast?"

"Well, I don't have approval, yet, but taking into account the standard algorithms in use by most of the larger banks, I'll certainly be able to get approval for that amount, especially if they are willing to take Leonard's income into account as well."

"Is there a reason that they wouldn't?"

"Not that I can think of." Sheldon told her, navigating away from the page she had been looking at and opening another realtor's website. "There's also the option of purchasing a home that's been foreclosed upon and is now owned by a bank – there's a number of houses that look quite appealing and some are listed with asking prices of less than a third of their potential value. Between the three of us I'm certain we can easily afford repayments on a loan of that size. That and our steady employment at the University makes both Leonard and myself good candidates for a home loan, not to mention the fact that I'm due to get tenure, soon."

"Tenure?"

"I've done enough research and published enough original work that the Board of Directors is considering giving me academic tenure, which means that I won't be able to be fired without just cause."

"So, your job will be more secure?"  
"Much. That and I get a pay-rise."

"Well, that's good, I guess."  
"Exactly. So, what do you think of this one?" He opened a page featuring a bank-owned property just a mile and a half from Cal Tech, a double-storey home with four bedrooms, a double garage and a pool, along with a very attractive asking price.

"A pool?"

"Why not? I know you enjoy swimming, and I'd really like the chance to put my self-taught skills to use in an environment not subjected to the general public."  
"I guess, with your own pool, you can really regulate everything, hey? Make sure that the filter and pump are top-notch, check your pH levels, all that jazz?"

"Exactly. That and having a pool in southern California greatly increases potential resale value."

"That, too." Penny gazed at the pictures scrolling past on the screen and began to day-dream about lazy afternoons sprawled on a sun-lounger in front of her very own swimming pool. The closest she'd ever come to something so enviable was the creek that ran through the backyard at her parents' house, and even then she hadn't been able to do much sprawling, between the mosquitoes and her fathers' hollering at her to do something useful rather than sleeping in the sunshine.

When Leonard emerged from his bedroom an hour and a half later, Penny and Sheldon were just about to leave the apartment.

"Where are you guys going?" he asked, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

"Looking at houses. Want to come?" Penny asked, brandishing a marked map of their neighbourhood while Sheldon checked that the strap on his satchel was secure.

"Houses?"  
"We discussed this, Leonard. It's in the roommate agreement."

"Which version?"  
"The revised version I gave you last month; it outlined what the procedures would be if we had to leave this apartment. Honestly, you had a week to review it, did you even look?"  
"Yeah, I looked, but I didn't notice anything about relocating."

"Well, take a closer look, section 24, Housing Arrangements and Potential Relocations. We'll be back with lunch at one o'clock."

He held the door open for Penny and she shrugged at the confused stare Leonard was giving her, before practically skipping out the door, followed by his lanky roommate.

Not for the first time since meeting either Penny or Sheldon, Leonard found himself completely lost for words.


	3. Chapter 3

"Wait, Sheldon is where?" Howard demanded, twisting in his seat to face Leonard. He, Leonard and Raj were sitting in 4A's living room, playing a non-Sheldon-approved video game and eating a large bowl of popcorn with their bare hands in between rounds. It was a small rebellion, but they had learned to grasp any opportunity to break the 'rules' whenever and however it presented itself.

"With Penny." Leonard answered, not wanting to get drawn into the conversation. He blew Raj's head off to punctuate his disinterest.

"What? Penny's with Sheldon, voluntarily?" Raj paused the game and Leonard found himself subjected to two confused, somewhat accusing stares.

"They're looking at houses."

"What? Why?"

"Penny and Sheldon are looking at houses?"

Leonard put his game controller down and decided to tell them the whole story.

"We got a notice to vacate yesterday – Sheldon didn't open it until after you guys had left, and when Penny got home from work, she had the same thing in her letterbox."

"So, they're buying a house together?"

"Not exactly. Here." He handed them the copy of the Roommate Agreement, open to the page about relocations, and waited while they pored over it.

"Wait, what?" Howard looked up at Leonard. "You mean, Sheldon's going to buy a house, with you and Penny?"

"Won't that be kind of awkward when, you know, she gets a boyfriend?" Raj asked, taking the opportunity to browse the rest of the Agreement, wondering what it said about himself or Howard relocating.

"No, it won't." Leonard told him, trying to keep his tone firm. Honestly, he hadn't considered that; he'd just been kind of thrown completely off-kilter by the whole 'Sheldon wants to buy a house' thing.

"So, you're going to let Sheldon decide what house you move into?"

"Why not? He'd find fault with any place I picked, and besides, his list of requirements is pretty exhaustive. There's a link on the roommate webpage to the list of features that a potential house needs before he'll even consider it."

"What if they find a place with only two bedrooms?"

"Not possible. One of the first criteria on the list was for a minimum of three, preferably five and a study. Plus, he wants a pool."

"Sheldon, the guy who thinks he can swim because he taught himself how on the floor of this very apartment, wants a house with a pool?"

"I didn't ask. All I know is that they're bringing lunch back at one."

Raj and Howard looked at each other, Raj shrugged and Howard raised an eyebrow. Normally something like this would be enough to send Sheldon into a downward spiral that only his mother could pull him out of, but apparently he'd taken the relocation news with good grace. Well, what could be considered by Sheldon's standards as good grace.

"Hey, if you guys get a pool, does that mean we can throw parties at your new place?" Raj asked.

"Yeah! Girls in bikinis!" Howard didn't need any convincing.

"I doubt it, you know Sheldon's stance on parties." Leonard tossed a couple of kernels of popcorn into his mouth and attempted to un-pause the game, but Raj re-paused it as soon as he saw movement on the screen. This round wasn't going to finish for a good while, yet.

"Yeah, but if you get Penny as a roommate, you might be able to out-vote him and get an allowance for one or two." Howard pointed out.

Leonard considered this.

"Hm. You never know. I'll have to talk to Penny about it, I'm sure she'd be open to a couple of parties, especially if we present them properly. I mean, we have to have a housewarming, surely?"

..

..

..

..

..

..

..

"Can you find a parking space somewhere on this block?"

"How many houses are within range?" Penny resisted the urge to try and get a glimpse of the marked map Sheldon was consulting, concentrating on the road and trying to stick to the speed limit, lest Sheldon freak out on her.

"Eight potential homes within half a mile."

"Great. Is there a coffee place close?"

Sheldon consulted the map.

"A place called Java Jam is at the next set of traffic lights, about a quarter of a mile up this street."

"Great. Iced chocolate? My treat."

"What? Why?" Sheldon was automatically suspicious of un-prompted gifts of food or drink. That and he'd only had a glass of orange juice two hours earlier.

"So we've got something in our hands other than a map while we're looking at houses. It'll make us look less like crazed stalker-type people. That and I want an iced chocolate. Plus, if we're going to live within walking distance of a coffee shop, I want to make sure it does a decent drink. And it will give you a chance to see some of the people who live in this neighborhood."

Sheldon nodded as she spoke.

"I accept your reasoning as sound."

"Great." Penny pulled her Volkswagen into a parking space that had just been vacated by a rather large truck, so she didn't even have to reverse in, and straightened it up.

"Let's go!"

Of course, Sheldon found faults with five of the eight houses without even going any further than the pavement.

"No, that one would get afternoon sun in the kitchen, see?" he pointed to a large picture window facing the street. "And I can see straight into that bedroom from here. Would you want people to be able to see into your room from the street?"

"No. Next." Penny readily agreed with him. She wasn't really in a position to argue – Sheldon was offering her the chance to have a say in where her next home might be. Possibly a permanent residence with walls that could be repainted, its' own, private laundry room and if she was very, very lucky, a pool.

"The next house is just around the corner." Sheldon took a large gulp of his iced chocolate – Java Jam had exceeded his expectations of a small coffee shop, the clientele had seemed friendly and the attendant on the counter had been exclusively handling cash, with a second girl writing the orders on sleeves that then went on paper cups. That, and the barista hadn't touched a single thing with her hands, even going so far as to use plastic tongs to take Penny's brownie slice out of the display case, even though it was already wrapped in greaseproof paper.

"Which one is next?" Sheldon handed Penny a piece of paper from the sheaf underneath his map – it was a printout from with the address and a photo of the front of the house above a list of its' features.

"This is that foreclosure we looked at before we left… we're only, what, a mile and a half from Cal Tech?"

"And one point two miles from the Cheesecake Factory. You could walk to work."

"Oh, awesome. This one has a pool, too, doesn't it?"

"Yes, it does. And four living areas, I believe. Not to mention a pool house in the yard."

"Pool house?"

"From the description it's a modified guest house with basic plumbing, so that guests can rinse chlorine from themselves before they come into the main house."

"Cool."

Penny wandered along the wide avenue next to her lanky neighbor, sipping on her drink and watching the cars that went past. A red Ferrari caught her eye, turning towards a slowly opening security gate on the other side of the street.

"Sheldon, this is a pretty upscale part of Pasadena."

"Yes, it is. How do you know?"

She pointed at the Ferrari, and Sheldon's eyes narrowed for a moment.

"Oh, yes. Expensive vehicles would indicate a certain affluence. But, like you said, this house has been foreclosed upon."

"That's a good point… but I can't help but think how ridiculous my Golf would look pulling up to automatic gates."

"I'm certain that nobody would look twice, Penny. Here we are."

Sheldon came to an abrupt halt in front of a pair of black wrought-iron gates that had been omitted from the picture of the house. They could barely even see the place from the road; it was surrounded by a high fence that was lined with box hedging and was set back far enough that only the top of the second-story windows were visible from the pavement. Penny stepped over to the gate and peered through, but was still unable to see much besides the white gravel driveway and some large white planters with small palm trees sticking out of them – the actual house was obscured, even from the gate, by two more trees and another hedge.

"I think we might have to call the realtor to take a look at this place, Sheldon."

"Well, without seeing anything other than the roof, I can't reliably determine if it would be a suitable residence or not."

"Exactly. Who was the realtor?"

"Penny, what are you doing?" he asked, alarmed, as she pulled her cell phone out of her pocket.

"Foreclosed houses can move fast, Sheldon. We want to take a look, and if it ticks all your boxes then we'd have to put in an offer pretty soon. If I call the realtor now we might be able to take a tour sometime today."

"Oh."

"Exactly." Penny had pulled her cell phone out of her purse and consulted the information sheet, dialing the realtor's number and jamming the phone between her ear and shoulder, listening for an answer.

"Jane Doyle Realty, Alexandra speaking."

"Hi, my name's Penny and I'm interested in taking a closer look at one of your advertised homes for sale."


	4. Chapter 4

"Why does Leonard have to come with us? I have an exhaustive list of criteria that this house has to fulfil, how will his presence at an inspection help?"

"Well, for a start, Leonard will be living in the house, too, and he'll also be paying for a big chunk of it. He should at least get some say in which house you pick."

"But what if this house doesn't meet our criteria?"

"Sheldon…" Penny pointed to the information sheet in her hand and he looked at it, then back at Penny and sighed.

"I know, from the online description it does seem ideal…"

"Which means there's a better than average chance that it will actually fulfill all of your needs."

"Okay, okay, I concede your point. I'll ask Leonard to join us."

"Well, the inspection isn't until two, we should get some lunch and head home, like we promised."

"Okay."

..

..

"So, did you find a new house?" Leonard demanded as soon as they crossed the threshold.

"Probably – are you free this afternoon?" Penny asked, dumping the paper bag full of Chinese food onto the coffee table, pointedly ignoring the simpering look Howard shot at her, she thought that having a fiancée might have made him ease off a bit, but it seemed like Bernadette had to actually be in the room for him to dial it back more than half a notch.

"You found a house already?" Leonard couldn't keep the shock out of his expression.

"Of course, Leonard. Our list of criteria is exhaustive, and thanks to the recent turmoil of the US economy, a number of homes in our neighborhood have been foreclosed upon that meet or exceed our requirements. We have an appointment for two PM to see one of them."

"Two o'clock, today?"

"Yes."

"A house?"

"Yes." Sheldon turned to Penny, rolling his eyes. She just sighed and pulled out her box of egg rolls and hunted for the chopsticks concealed at the bottom of the bag.

..

..

"Hi, I'm Alexandra, and you must be Penny. Great to meet you!"

"Lovely to meet you, too. This is Sheldon-" Sheldon nodded at the realtor, his hands firmly clasped behind his back, and let Penny do the talking.

"Great, well, come on in." Alexandra pulled a remote control out of her purse and aimed it at the gates, which slid open silently. Penny bit her lip to stop herself from giggling, but it really did seem ridiculous that there was a possibility, however remote, that she might be going from her tiny apartment on the fourth floor of a building with a broken elevator, to a house with a remote-controlled front gate and a _pool_.

They followed Alexandra up the gravel driveway, Leonard trailing behind as his cell phone rang, and Penny tried her best to pay attention to what Alexandra was saying about the house.

She kind of lost track of the entire conversation as the front of the house came into view.

It was a sprawling two-storey bungalow with a beautiful enclosed front porch, it was rendered almost entirely in white except for pale blue accents and a dark tiled roof, and off to the other side of the front doors there were three garage doors just visible.

"Come on in." Alexandra held the door open and Penny stepped past her, letting out a breath that she hadn't realized she was holding, even as Sheldon stepped past, holding his phone up to his mouth and speaking directly into his note-taking app, while Penny just let the house itself speak to her.

Alexandra took them on the standard tour and every step she took Penny felt her heart tearing into more and more pieces. Why had she insisted on looking at this house? It was so perfect that she thought it might kill her if Sheldon found anything wrong with it, or if someone else bought it. What could she possibly do to convince him that it was perfect? She paused in the kitchen, standing at the sink and looking out through the picture window and discovering that the pool was directly below the patio just to her left. It was covered, at the moment, but the garden and paved area around it had been beautifully maintained.

"Kitchen is adequate, good sized refrigerator, excellent storage space. Dining area may need reconfiguration, not impossible. Will need to contract an electrician to install additional power points and data connections." Sheldon paused his monologue and tapped his phone's screen, turning to Alexandra.

"May we see upstairs?"

"Certainly, follow me."

Penny caught Sheldon by the elbow as Alexandra left the kitchen and spoke to him with her voice low.

"What do you think, so far?"

"I think that with minimal alterations this could indeed be an acceptable residence."

"You mean, we could actually get this place?"

"Providing that all of the paperwork is in order, I can't see any reason why not. That door over there leads directly to a secondary living area with a bedroom and en-suite, as long as the upstairs bedrooms are just as accommodating I can't really find many faults." He pointed out through the window Penny was standing in front of to a part of the house that looked like a fairly recent addition, a self-contained apartment that had its' own entrance. The description had it listed as an 'in-law suite' which just meant it was a self contained apartment on the same title.

"Faults?" Penny was almost outraged. "This place is perfect, Sheldon!"

"I'll certainly take your opinion into consideration. Come on, we shouldn't leave Alexandra waiting. Where's Leonard?"

"Leonard? Oh, yeah. Leonard. Leonard! Where are you?" Penny called, and heard Leonard's response from somewhere towards the front of the house, on the other side of the staircase to where Penny and Sheldon were standing in the kitchen.

"Where are you?"

"In here." Leonard's voice kind of trailed off as he spoke, and the moment Penny stepped into the room he was occupying, she understood why.

"Sheldon, this house has its' own screening room."

"Oh, yes, the previous owner was a movie producer, he had this den converted a couple of years ago." Alexandra poked her head into the room, which had been fully renovated. All of the windows had been reduced to tiny slots towards the ceiling and could be covered with black-out curtains. The floor had been built up into three steps, and there were twelve plush recliners, each with a cup-holder, built into the space.

"You'll need to get a projector, of course, but it's a nice addition to any place in this part of the world."

"We have a projector." Sheldon told her, and she just nodded, ignoring his somewhat condescending tone.

"Well you're halfway there, aren't you. Would you like to see upstairs?"


	5. Chapter 5

"So, are we going to put in an offer?" Leonard asked Sheldon as Alexandra climbed into her car, having closed the gates of the house with her remote control.

"Well, considering the asking price range, I think we would be foolish not to."

"Wait, you mean, you didn't find anything wrong with the _first house we looked at_?" Penny was, understandably, a little incredulous.

"Considering how specific I was with the criteria I searched the internet with, I'm not entirely certain I understand your surprise. But this house is far from perfect – there are a number of issues that will need to be resolved, but as we are making a purchase, not signing a lease, we can fix them ourselves."

Penny had come to a complete standstill in the middle of the pavement, staring at Sheldon, open-mouthed.

"Sheldon, you better not be screwing with me." She told him after a few moments of silence in which one of Sheldon's eyebrows migrated rather closer to his hairline than Penny had ever seen it go, before.

"Penny, I don't 'screw with people', certainly not without saying 'bazinga'."

"So, this isn't a 'bazinga' situation?"

"Not when we're dealing with hundreds of thousands of dollars. This purchase may even delay my plans to become the first human to have adamantium welded onto my skeleton."

Penny wasn't entirely sure what that sentence even meant, but gathered it must be something important to Sheldon, so she just nodded.

"Okay, well, I did a bit of research of my own. Before we can put in an offer on this house, we have to get our financing approved."

"Oh, yeah. How the hell are we going to do that?" Leonard asked, and Sheldon shot him one of his 'looks' – haughty derision if Penny remembered correctly – before answering what he plainly considered to be an idiotic question.

"Leonard, taking into account our combined incomes, the stability of our respective jobs and not to mention the not-inconsiderable savings that I've got put aside, there are no less than fourteen financial institutions in the greater Los Angeles area that would allow us to borrow twice what we need to buy this house."

"Oh."

"Exactly."

"Okay, then. Did you have a bank in mind?"

"As a matter of fact, I do. But it is Saturday, I'll have to make the appointment for Monday."

"So soon?" Leonard was suddenly wary. Sure, he'd been living with Sheldon for the better part of a decade, but was he really prepared to buy a house with him?

"Well, both Penny and Alexandra have assured me that foreclosed houses tend to 'move quickly', so time is of the essence, is it not?"

"You know, Sheldon, there is another option." Penny put in. It was kind of strange, really, to know more about something, anything besides pop culture, than the geniuses next-door.

"What?"

"You can put in a conditional offer, subject to financial approval." Penny told him, watching as Sheldon's mind seemed to whirr and suddenly the phrase clicked into place.

"You mean, we contact Alexandra with an offer and we would not be committed to it if we failed to secure our home loan?"

"Exactly. How much do you like this house, Sheldon?"

"I like it a lot. That screening room has great potential, not to mention that bedroom…" One of the bedrooms on the second floor had been painted entirely white, with white carpet and a fully white en-suite, with the barest hint of chrome and black accents. Sheldon had stood in the middle of that room beaming like a kid in a candy store. Penny had seen straight away what the appeal was – every single smudge and speck of dust would show up like neon in that space, he could be a complete neat freak and he would have a private bathroom to boot. She'd known in that moment that convincing him to put in an offer wouldn't be difficult. Of course, once she'd taken a proper look at 'her' bedroom and bathroom downstairs it had been all she could do not to beg him on the spot to buy the place – the room was indeed bigger than her current apartment and had a set of French doors that opened directly onto the patio above the pool. Should the urge strike, she could go from bed to water in less than ten seconds.

"Okay. How much should we offer? I know what the upper asking price was, but, Penny, you seem to know about these things. Should we offer more?"

Penny laughed at that, finally feeling at ease.

"Uh, no. Come on, let's go back to that cafe we got our drinks from earlier, and do some more research." she suggested. "We can see what other, similar properties have gone for recently and offer based on that." 

Sheldon nodded, accepting that Penny knew best - in this situation. "That sounds acceptable." he agreed, and started to walk, Penny and Leonard following in his wake.


End file.
